Extracts from Book Reviews - Negotiation

1)Negotiation in this book is referred to as a Mixture of Knowledge, Skill, Experience and intuition.  Key point I like in this book for Preparing tactics and strategies such as having right attitude and Mindset, being ready walk away from the poor deals. Through this book I came to know about “Good Negotiators are made rather than born”

1a) Negotiation need to understand and that  it is not necessary that only one party wins , if they will only take the trouble to find out what the other party really wants  and then go about designing a package that gives it to them, they can gain what they  themselves want from the process. It is the careful peeling away of the unwanted elements that leads to successful negotiations.b

1b) Negotiations are a process, not an event that can be learnt. All the steps that lead to mutually satisfying outcomes are described here like creating the climate, identifying interests, and selecting the best alternative to negotiated agreement outcomes that you will go through in any negotiations

2)Negotiation is a social process. It is because people must interact with each others to achieve their desired outcomes. This interaction may occur face to face, telephonically, by mail or increasingly electronically via; e-mail, instant messaging, or video conferencing. We interact with each others because we are interdependent- we have something they need or they have something we need. So, negotiation is the process by which interdependent people with conflicting interest determine how they are going to allocate resources or work together in the future.

3)Some possible Tactics of Negotiation

While playing the game of negotiation, use these whenever appropriate:

·         Always appear reluctant

Show you are interested in acting in good faith but make them realize you have other options too if not this.

·         Never, Never, Never accept the first offer

No matter how good the first offer sounds, never except it, act as you don’t like it. It is needed even you know you are offered what you want.

·         Neutralize the other side perceived power

The other side will try to make you feel inferior but by recognizing this situation in advance, you can resist  much of the power and can focus on your own agenda and strategy.

·         Schedule session on your own turf

You are always better off with the home field advantage in the early sessions.

·         Use confusion to your advantage

When people are unsettled, they are more easily influenced and persuaded than when they are sure of themselves and the situation.

·         Don’t over react when the other party says no

Hearing no can be scary but understand no does not mean never. Situation can be changed and shifted as well.

Challenges of Negotiation

·         Communication

·         Decision Making

·         Power and influence

·         Ethics

·         Multiparty Negotiation

·         Individual Differences

·         International Negotiation

·         Difficult Negotiation

·         Third- Party negotiation

4) Know your team roles..while negotiating as a team

If you are negotiating in a team you must be clear on which role you are playing. The role may be leader, summarizer, and observer. Leader should conduct the negotiation, it is not necessary that the leader should be most senior person. Summarizer need to summarize periodically, should ask questions to clarify missed points but should not take over the leadership. Observer should watch, listen and record, can provide the objective view but speaks only at breaks.

·         ”If”is the biggest word in negotiating

You should use ”if” as the first word in every proposal you make. It is necessary to say if you do this and this then I will do that because you are attaching condition to every proposal. But you must be careful in using this word because you attach condition to every proposal which may sometimes motivate your counterparty to accept best deal and agree in isolation, you should use this word so that each and every package is accepted.

·         Try not to say “take it“ or “leave it”

You can say that’s the best I can do and this may be a good idea if the other party has no option but to take it. You should give them options, use your influencing skills and your ability to persuade and people will return to negotiate with you in future.

·         Be aware of body language

We all know that body speaks more than words. It is a crucial and most important aspect of communication from beginning to closing a deal. While moving every part of your body you must first consider about your counterpoint viewpoint. One research has shown that 10 percent of communication depends on the words you use, 30 percent of communication depends on how you say them and 60 percent of communication depends on your body language.

5)Negotiation is a protocol of exchange and the mood in which the sides arrive at negotiation greatly influences the outcome. A well conducted negotiation may allow both sides to win by creating synergy. The golden rule of negotiation is ask and you shall receive. If you fail to make the request without having given up a thing, the other side is always ahead.

6) Personal issues that threaten win- win negotiation

·         Innocent misunderstanding: Clarify the reasons for your actions and positions, never take for granted that the other side knows what you believe or why you are doing something.

·         Perceived dishonesty: Half truths, unspoken truths and deception can be just as destructive as outright lies. Have the courage to be honest.

·         Negligence and irresponsibility: If you say you will do something, do it! Respect confidence and honor commitments. Treat the other side with the same respect you expect.

7) Among the various mentioned DNA’s of negotiation,  is “RECIPROCITY.” -  this is how people most of the time tends to behave not only during negotiation but also in their day to day life. In our life we use one statement very often i.e. “If you want to be respected by others, first you need to respect them.”

Reciprocity does not mean teat for tat or eye for eye. It means if you try to wind up other negotiators, they are likely to do the same to you. So reciprocity is the central dynamism of negotiation.

This is the human nature. And I believe this really is central dynamism of negotiation and most of the time the way people behave with us is reflection of our own action or behaviour. This is the simple rule in life as well as in business. The fact is most of us having overlooked the “Reciprocity” factor in our lives tend to believe whatever the way we behave is correct. But once we start seeing things through this point of view we come to know that this is how it works in reality.

Another interesting term that I found is:

Gleaning Information

While negotiating most parties only focus on getting the other party to understand their own concerns and issues without understanding from where the other party is coming from. But in my opinion successful negotiators are those who have a good estimate of what the counterparty’s issues & priorities might be.

Gleaning information means trying to know about another party slowly and building relationship & trust. The reason why I like this point is no one is going to negotiate with you until & unless they trust you and believe that you have concerns for their interest as well.

8) “Start With No” is the opposite of win-win, and getting to yes. Jim Camp emphasizes disagreement with win-win which leads to compromise easily and early.

Win-win is hopelessly misguided as a basis for good negotiating, and such negotiating is the worst possible way to get the best possible deal.

"Start With No" is based on the understanding that "no" is a real decision. Negotiators should be more concerned with making sound decisions rather than winning.

The best negotiators:

·         are not interested in “yes” they prefer “no”

·         never, ever rush to close, but always let the other side feel comfortable and secure

·         are never needy; they take advantage of the other party’s neediness

·         always have a mission and purpose that guides their decisions

·         don’t send so much as an e-mail without an agenda for what they want to accomplish

·         know the four “budgets” for themselves and for the other side: time, energy, money, and emotion

·         never waste time with people who don’t really make the decision

 “Yes” at the beginning of a negotiation is not good idea as things change over time; “Maybe” make the other side crazy, and will drag negotiations for a long period, which wastes valuable time and money; and “No” shows that you are not needy, and tells what aspects and conditions need to be discussed and resolved.

Therefore, the books gives an idea that “No” is just the start of the negotiation, not the end of it. With it, we’ll get everything we want and build solid relationships with those we negotiate with.

9) The below extract is useful for dealing with difficult negotiators

This book particularly focuses on integrative negotiation in which the party tries to create as much as value as possible for both sides. In problem solving negotiation, the important aspect is to have mutual understanding. But here comes the trouble when your counterpart stick in his position and do not want to listen you. Now the negotiator should get from the confrontation state to co-operation state. In such a situation you should understand the reason why your counterpart is not willing to co-operate. You should be able to view the situation objectively. Here you should know the tactics your opponent is using. Next, you should go to the balcony meaning instead of reacting to the conflict you should maintain your mental balance. Third, the dispute should be reframed in terms of interests rather than positions. For this ‘yes’ foster an atmosphere of agreement. The goal here is to educate the other party that you are not trying to win but instead you are seeking a mutual satisfactory agreement. One of the tactics used is saying “yes” and adding your point by using “and” in the conversation.’ Yes’ will help in creating the positive climate and ‘And’ will help to establish space for multiple perspective. Your counterpart feels that you understand his perspective.   Thus, while negotiating with difficult people diplomacy plays a vital role. It is important not only to control your emotions but also to maintain others too. Instead of using your power to bring your opponent to his knees, create multiple perspective to make him think using his senses.

10) If you want to enjoy true success in your business negotiations then

-           Learn the real needs of the negotiator facing you across the table

-          Analyzing those needs, express your needs in return.

-          Convert your ‘opponent’ into your ‘partner’ as you work together on a mutually beneficial solution.

It’s called Win: Win. The best opportunities, the most profitable deals, the richest relationships come about this way.  The question is “Why doesn’t it always happen? This book isolates the 16 most common reasons for Failure.:
..

6) Personal issues that threaten win- win negotiation

·         Innocent misunderstanding: Clarify the reasons for your actions and positions, never take for granted that the other side knows what you believe or why you are doing something.

·         Perceived dishonesty: Half truths, unspoken truths and deception can be just as destructive as outright lies. Have the courage to be honest.

Negligence and irresponsibility: If you say you will do something, do it! Respect confidence and honor commitments. Treat the other side with the same respect you expect

11)Further to get win win outcome:

·         Competition Vs Co-operation:

What we think about negotiation is that it’s merely the game to win more than other party willingness to give. Due to such concept we forget the factor called satisfaction which can be the essential factor to build trust and long term relationship. Thus the point competition should be out folded by co-operation highlighted the fact we should come up front with co-operation to get win-win situation. 

12) . from the book : Crucial Conversations : is that most of us are letting our emotions and past experiences and stories drive our actions. This doesn’t leave a lot of room for rational or strategic thinking at times that matter most. One must use Crucial Conversations and the examples it provides as a tool to help them prepare for that next big conversation. Crucial Conversations are when the Stakes are High, Emotions Run Strong and Opinions Vary.

Seven (7)  Step Process to managing such conversations. The basics are as follows:

1.       Start with the heart- Know your stakes

2.       Learn to look- Do not stray

3.       Make it safe: Creating comfortable environment

4.       Master your story-Appropriate way to respond

5.       State your path-Sharing the fact

6.       Explore other’s path-Look for areas of agreement

7.       Move to action- Coming to consensus.

·         Use of Silence in negotiation,  ,can also be used to deal with ttough negotiators :

What most of us neglect in negotiation is the use of silence. Silence is the powerful tool during negotiation. It will show the others that you will not be bullied into submission and intend to remain in control of the situation. It will also show that you have analytical skills, the power of logical reasoning and the ability to restore order from confusion. Silence can be golden

12 a) “If you do not know where you’re at, or where you want to go, you will end up where you did not want to be”  comment and elucidate in the context of negotiation

13) LANCER, L-Linkage : We like to deal with the people we like or people whom we feel comfortable. A-Alignment : To capture an elephant in the wed of a spider, you must use the energy of the elephant. N-Needs : In the quest to satisfy our needs, we are guided by emotion rather than reason. C-Control :  How to listen so people will talk & talk so people will listen ?, Talking out loud is habit, listening out loud is an art. E-Evaluation : A persuasive proposal is one that sets forth your best ideas rather than all of your ideas. R-Reading : To be able to persuasively present your ideas and prevent resistance, you must read how the other person makes decision.

13a) "Amateurs will listen to someone else talk only because they know their turn is next. World-class negotiators will listen to someone else talk to gather “fine print” clues that can be used to influence and persuade." Explain

13b) If you have options to take risk, then you have negotiating power.

Reason : Obliviously, when you have options you have ability to drop the negotiation. When you are in such position, you won't make poor deals. And you go on negotiation until you get what you want. If you don't have option, then you might give up at some point and compromise below your expectation.

14)  the more time you spend  in preparation,,, we can spend less time for reaching settlement in negotiation  ; during negotiation each party starts to trade. It is unlikely that an agreement can be reached without some concessions form both parties.-Comment

15"Strong win-win" he contends:"only works if the other party plays win-win too" &"Stresses credibility and strength in the deal. Strong Win-Win will not bully". Win-win is best even for selfish reasons because Win-win creates extra value and your share of this is greater than if you took a win-lose approach. The negotiation counts for nothing unless it is implemented how you would like and, therefore, the other party must be incentivized to implement it as agreed. However, many people are afraid of win-win because they feel it leaves them open to be taken advantage of. What is more, it only works if the other party adopts it too. Therefore, use the Strong Win-Win system, which addresses these concerns. A high-trust co-operative approach is by the far the most effective method of getting the best deal you can. However, this is only true if the trust is well-placed. Your counterparty is likely to follow your lead in terms of attitude and behavior. Hence build trust by sharing information and by being trustworthy yourself and Share information, at a rate that you feel comfortable with, judging by their response in behavior. The basic principles are It’s not about wining the battle, it’s about winning the war. (Focus on the bigger picture, get a bigger win.). In human Endeavour, one plus one equals three. (You have a bull, I have a cow together we have a business. While negotiating, prepared thoroughly, thinking about side of other, developed strong plan, high credibility and high rapport, most people will be your side. We should not rely on hope, cross your fingers that they will like you do something about it.

Trust engenders trust. If they can trust you, they are more likely to be trustworthy. Under promise, over deliver.

*Sometimes we need to manage our response and it can be done through following STOP

S- Step back

T- Think

O-Organise your thoughts

P- Proceed when you know your best action.

All in all key part of the strong win-win philosophy is be strong in the deal and earn their respect. Never let yourself be bullies.

He has highlighted seven key elements of effective negotiation and has used acronym PREBAR which means Plan and prepare, Rehearse, Explore and explain, Propose, Bargain, Agree, Review. He suggested that counting cost will help in effective negotiation. COST here means

Commitment: Half hearted approach can never be effective in negotiation. There must be serious commitment to achieve result.

Objectives: If you don’t have clear objective you won’t know where to aim.

Strategy: Once we have clear objectives for our company, then we must put a strategy in place.

Tactics: Every negotiation has a tactical element.

What writer mention in this book is that negation is like chess

He listed them in terms of dos and don’ts and they are:

·         Do always maintain the initiative

·         Do put things in writing

·         Do conceal our emotions

·         Do ask for discount when paying cash

·         Do use experts

·         Don’t expect to win them all

·         Don’t be afraid to break off negotiation

·         Don’t attack your counterpart, attack the problem

·         Don’t deal in round numbers

·         Don’t indicate movements before you need to

·         Don’t dig your heels in

·         Don’t be afraid to go back and try again

·         Don’t be afraid of risk

·         Don’t assume facts.

Positions Vs Interests

One of the keys to reaching a win win agreement is to understand the difference between position and interest. Although the terms are often used interchangeably, they are not the same.

·         Positions

             Positions are the demand and offer made by the parties in a negotiation.

·         Interests

            Interests are what the parties consider most important to them.

A position is what you say you want, while an interest is what would actually satisfy your needs. Believe it or not many people think they know what they want, yet they may not be aware of what their real interest are.

For demonstration, we take an iceberg. Here position are the tip of the iceberg that we can see, while most interest are hidden beneath the surface.

._The book ‘Women don’t ask’ emphasizes on the cost that women bear for not negotiating.  The learning from this book focuses on how women should be more assertive, strong headed and compassionate when it comes to reaching to a negotiating agreement. They should refrain away from the discrepancies arrived out of the cultural aspect and should focus more on deriving the best of what they can achieve and try to reduce the gap which could occur otherwise for not being able to ask.

- To be the best negotiators we most learn something in advance is the main conclusion of this book

WINNING NEGOTIATIONS THAT PRESERVE RELATIONSHIPS

Key to successful negotiation is knowing how to identify a shared vision and common goals.

Best negotiations are collaborative – they take place under assumption that parties’ relationships are equally as important as the details of the deal.

Golden rule of Negotiation:

“People will not negotiate with you unless they believe you can help them or hurt them”

-          A